| So I honestly didn't think I'd ever post on here again after the "I'm not quite ready to get rid of this thing" post. We've all been converted to facebook, and not many people really get on here anymore, including myself. I still get those xanga-subs emails, but I rarely ever read them. Anyway, I just thought I'd come back here for a bit...because I had some things I just wanted to let out, even if nobody reads it or acknowledges that they did. And everybody and their brother would see it on facebook, and I don't quite think I want that either. Growing up is quite an odd thing to experience. We are all doing it, and will be until the day we die. Every single thing we go through is just part of the whole experience, and we all grow from it in one way or another, whether we realize it or not. It really is funny to go back and read through all your old xanga posts. I actually read every single one of mine a couple months back, and man. I often wonder how people put up with me, but once again, I guess that's all part of "growing" haha. I honestly thought my life was over when my dad was going to give my dog away. I honestly thought some people that were in my life were my true friends. I honestly thought I was going to 'marry that boy some day <3'. Looking back, I can remember graduating from high school (God, that was already 3 years ago for me) and feeling like the whole world was at my fingertips. I could finally do what I wanted, be with who I wanted, it was going to be great. Well, that is until reality set in, haha. Since then, I've been fighting my way through four years of nursing school one way or another, wondering if I was really going to make it the whole time. And now it's down to the last year-ish of my (current) college career. I'll graduate next December, which doesn't even sound right to me, but it's also so exciting at the same time. I can honestly say that I adore my job--I don't know what else I would be doing. Every single patient I have teaches me something new, whether its how to help a patient's family deal with their family member's impending death, or "Wow, I honestly thought I'd throw up the first time that happened, and I didn't." I just hope I never lose the passion I have for these people, but it really can be discouraging to hear the comments some of our 'seasoned' nurses make sometimes. I never want to get that burnt out.
It really is so interesting to realize how much you teach yourself about life. One of the hardest things is to be knocked down and forced to see yourself for who you really are, or maybe who you've really become. And that can be a bad thing. Somebody recently made the statement to me that they hoped it didn't hurt too bad to look in the mirror lately. As I figuratively (& literally) began to look in the mirror, I realized that it did. Like I said, it is one of the hardest things for a person to do, but it really can be one of the most beneficial things for a person to do. People make mistakes, and no one is perfect. We've all been taught these things throughout ours lives. But I'm starting to think that its all about how we handle ourselves. Life throws you curve-balls, and its all about whether or not you step back and just let it pass, or whether you step up and swing. Meaning, you can let opportunity present itself, and let it pass. Or you can snatch it up. But it can also mean, if you mess up, you can either step back and act like it didn't happen and not grow from it. Or you can step up and admit what you did, and try to figure how you can become a better person from what happened.
you thought we'd be fine
all these years gone by
now you're asking me to listen
well then tell me bout everything
no lies
we're losing time this a battle
and its the final last call
it was a trial
you made a mistake
we know
why aren't you sorry
why aren't you sorry
why this could be better
you used to be happy
try |
